Yes, my friends, its that time again when a nation stops to watch people walk, swim in synch and throw metal balls. Whoever thought I would be sitting on the edge of my seat watching a number of athletes perform the most ridiculous stroke ever invented, otherwise known as butterfly. Seriously guys, if you were floating in the ocean when the Jaws theme suddenly echoed in your ears, how many of you could honestly say that flapping your arms while smacking your face against the water (basically making as big a disturbance as possible) would be the best tactic of reaching the shore in one piece?

Now i don't want to begrudge those worthy competitors who dedicate hours to becoming the best in the world at something. In fact, i openly support them to the extent that i believe, for their own sakes, the silver medal should be made redundant. Obviously you have to keep the gold, and the bronze medalists are usually happy that at least they've gotten something, but how cruel is it to stand someone on a podium and make them listen to a different anthem being played as they kick themselves wondering if they couldn't have put in just a little bit more effort. It's basically saying "Congratulations! You're the first loser. Try again in 4 yrs time, if you're not to old or jaded to compete."

I have to admit, though, that my wish isn't entirely philanthropic. During the Olympics I find myself becoming judgemental and severe in my hunger for gold. I'm just not happy with anything less. I can almost see myself now in 10(?) years time, running up and down the sideline while heckling the other team in my child's under 8's soccer/netball match. Banish the thought!

V. Skye